A Lady, a Fox and a Jack-in-the-Box
Sat drinking their afternoon tea
On the side of a hill by a rusty old still
With an excellent view of the sea, the sea,
An exceptional view of the sea.
And as they were drinking, the Fox starting thinking
Of wine and women and song.
He though to have fun in the afternoon sun
Until sunset, then all evening long, 'ning long,
And oh, would the evening be long!
There's not a thing wrong with wine, women and song,
Thought the Fox as he gazed at the sea,
And I'd have a ball if I had them all,
But I only have one of the three, the three,
She's a beautiful one of the three.
Then the Fox on the hill looked up at the still
And said, sitting up with a jerk,
"Tea may be fine, but I'd like some wine,
And I'll bet I can make that still work, 'twill work,
I am sure I can make the still work."
Then Jack he climbed out of his box with a shout:
"With a still you make liquor, not wine!"
Said the Fox, "Wine or liquor -- I'll not even dicker,
For even some ale would be fine, be fine,
Why, even some beer would be fine."
And soon the old still which sat on a hill,
It started to smoke and to bubble.
From under a shady tree, thus said the Lady:
"Methinks this may get us in trouble, in trouble,
I surely don't want any trouble."
By sunset the Fox and the Jack-in-the=Box
Had finished distilling their brew.
As he tasted his drink, the Fox he did think,
Of the three I've now got myself two, one two,
Of wine, women and song, I've got two.
Then said the young Lady, "I think this is shady,
I'll not touch a drop of this stuff."
But though she declined, the Fox changed her mind,
And soon she had drunk quite enough, enough,
Soon they all had drunk more than enough.
Then Jack, before long, started singing a song,
And the Fox thought, now I've got all three!
And the Lady turned red as the drunken Fox said,
"Tonight I shall make love to thee, to thee,
Yes, tonight I shall make love to thee."
"You belong in a cage!" shouted Jack, in a rage,
"You despicable Fox, so beware!"
And he jumped from his box at the sly, drunken Fox,
And attacked, as it were, from the air, the air,
And he yelled as he sailed through the air.
The noise reached a Toad in his earthy abode,
So he came out to watch the two fight.
Then he croaked, "You two fools are forgetting the rules!
Don't you know how to fight a duel right? All right!
Let's start over and do this thing right!
Then the Toad hurried back to his underground shack
And brought out a revolver for each.
Then the Toad led the Fox and the Jack-in-the-Box
To fight out their duel on the beach, the beach,
So they fought by the sea on the beach.
The duelers they heard as the Toad gave the word
To fight over the young Lady's hand.
To the Lady they bowed, then they counted out loud
As they paced off their steps in the sand, the sand,
As they counted and paced in the sand.
When ten steps were paced, the two turned and faced
One another, "Now fire!" Toad said.
But neither man one, though each fired his gun,
For they each shot the other one dead, one dead,
Both the Jack and the Fox were quite dead.
Said the Lady, "Oh my!" and she started to cry,
As the sea washed the rivals away.
But the Toad said, "My dear, try to be of good cheer.
Let's go up to my house by the bay, the bay,
We'll go up to my house by the bay."
Lady and Toad, in the latters abode,
Sat drinking their afternoon tea.
Discussing the weather, the stars, or whatever,
While watching the waves on the sea, the sea,
As together they gazed at the sea.